If you talk about all these beautiful things on earth, then probably you must know that you dont live on earth anymore. You live in a 'fairyland' . To be honest, realistic life hurts a lot and it never does change much. it's the sickest , fugliest thing I could quote.

"Effort is the demon. Our conscious planning and effort to direct the graceful ribbon of smoke, backfires and all we are left with, is a room filled with smoke all around. We endlessly throw our hands around, and corrupt the elegance. The shapes which could have rendered imagination are degraded to dust that chokes the throat and blinds the vision.
Let life lead the way. Go with the flow, intoxicated and unafraid.
One practical way through this philosophy is to start living with the notion of eternity in this form. With this very mind. Imagine that this never ends, this state of your mind; unless you change it. You have your gods inside you.
Gradually with time and with small loving efforts, align yourself with the direction along which you’ll find your inner peace. The one thing that you cannot get enough of. Ever. Tenderly, with the same gentle efforts, start working on your masterpiece. Not what the world deems as something, but your heart. The thing that gushes joy into your veins. There is no hurry. Take all your time. Never compromise on its class and Quality, by your own eyes. Don’t even let ‘practicality’ touch it. Die for it, if you have to. More importantly, live for it.

: : :
i was once having another of our much relished discussions with Anand Vardhan, when he pointed out how animals, seemingly ‘dumb’ were the ultimate practitioners of Zen. They live the moment, eat when they eat, sleep when they sleep. They just are!
We, in our ignorance dispel this, saying: ”But they don’t have water geysers and computers and food silos and rails. They don’t have airplanes, and Google and all this comfort.”
So?
You are always with yourself. Forever watched. You know all your jokes, all your tricks all your ‘guess-what-happened’ incidents. You’ve witnessed all your romances, all your betrayals and all embarrassments. You know bloody EVERYTHING about you.

Jesse: “It’s just usually it’s myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I haven’t been. I’ve never had a kiss when I wasn’t one of the kissers. Y’know, I’ve never, um, gone to the movies, when I wasn’t there in the audience. I’ve never been out bowling, if I wasn’t there, y’know making some stupid joke. I think that’s why so many people hate themselves. Seriously, it’s just they are sick to death of being around themselves. Let’s say that you and I were together all the time, then you’d start to hate a lot of my mannerisms. Or, uh, the way I’d tell the same stupid pseudo-intellectual story again, and again. Y’see, I’ve heard all those stories. So of course I’m sick of myself.”
~Before Sunrise.

And then you remember, but faintly the treasured moments that took your breath away. When time ‘flew past’, and hours ticked away with every passing minute. Those were the moments when you were in the present tense.
Certain events, things and people push us onto the moment. They saddle us up on the ‘horse’. You won’t remember the incident in postcard detail. In fact, you don’t. You can never be certain about how many you’ve had. And their depths. You don’t know and never will.
This is no tragedy.
Emerson elegantly summarized that Man, is but a God in ruins.
Memories are algae that stick to our rotten skins when we cease to be Gods. It is not permanent. You wouldn’t know it.  Nirvana leaves no trace."
- Abhishek Tiwari

Initially, this man would convince me and I would read this and be so stuck to it , that it became reality. The reality, I practiced. Sooner or later, my tears over flowed, emotion subsided and I was at the verge of shattering by the minute.It would be funny to say 'I fell in love' when I quoted it as the stupidest thing that existed, hated it and could never respect it nor take care of it. I was bad. Very bad . I still am, I guess.
The overflow became flood and it dried, took away - me !
 Distraction was nothing, it was the same thing in another costume. I became so numb in it, maybe for the first time, I could hate something. Did i ?
Furniture then became the'object' with emotions who could listen and understand, who could give me hugs and let me put my head in their lap and cry a little without making me realize that I was wrong. Soft pillows were where I could sob and yet be hugged for long long hours. It felt divine sometimes and then terrible - only to realize how saddist it was to hug objects not humans.
Coke was like alchol. Sleep was divine. Studying was work, it was the new found thing to do.now I knew, how typically and terribly I was breaking apart.
It would be an understatment to say, I was beautiful . It would a style statement to say I liked who I used to be and might be. It would be fatal to say, I was living. I wasn't really living, I was just breathing and doing things like some trained robot or dog.
I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and yet I believe that the future rocks.I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating .I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.However, I cant believe in relationships,in love and in innocence any longer. It ruins my innocence.