To kill a mocking bird?

It's been long I've had it to my heart's content, and even today i cant say as much yet I'm gonna try to put in as much in the short while b/w transit, b/w 2 flights, b/w two extremes and one me .
What would be the greatest fear of one particular child like-sh person ? not many just a single type of fear? Maybe something so petite, nobody may even bother to know or rather understand.
I've be around all this while, to pilgrimage...I ain't old , it was just another attempt to make dad happy with my type of unhappiness. in all this, i tried to discover what would give me sound sleep or rather more peace than I could have found .
My new found love was writing, maybe reading...maybe it's going to die. Maybe sooner than i can comprehend the word 'soon' .
it's a passage full longing, a felt of fearlessness...much unloved and demented. like tired.Murdered laughter,the severe moment of nothingness.what was right? love? lust?dream? nightmare ?  or nothingness ?
has that fragility begun to sink in ? like this much ? was an end coming this close? i know it was close...very close.But how close? Did i have to be a little more silent to decide ? was I falling in a pitch dark pit?
what if i were dead ?  maybe my picture would be nicely garlanded and put up in some place like that , not hearts, not tears.There are numerous possibilities,numerous murderers ahead.There is thing called god, is there?
Oh God !

The Sheikh in Black

Kohled eyes, deep intense kohl
black aabaya woman with feirce beauty
gold gold gold....ad we're at the local kebab place and I'm still having sizzler with extremely cold diet pepsi
I'm more interested in learing how to wrap a niquab rather than getting my make up billed ....
Ahh..Doha-an memories ! :P

Between Souls

It's not a very funny notion to sit long faced with some sort off emptiness in u and wonder, why does this fuckin' annoying emotion even exist. It's pretty un-hinging actually.
I wish there was a drug or some sorta thing to bring respite from this unsettling frail emotion, however even if u resit in this time and again....it doesn't make u any stronger or weaker. It makes you stale.
Right now, I sit in Doha-an winds, in some five star suite where the view is breath-taking. I ,with some sorta thrilling resonance wanted to scream at myself for wasting 5 days.
I wonder what brings me to Doha, what's good about this place? apart from the souk ( local market) and the make up women wear, there's no point staying here for christmas break. Bah! I can't even study .
Even if ur much resolved not to get used to some stuff, people do come across your way,peirce through ur mind and cut through ur feeling, leaving u numb or shall i say - wasted !
it's true that poetry may get lost in translation, but does the literal meaning change?
The putative emotion is mostly rationalized, the resolved hardly takes place yet in mitigation it's raw. It's like a 'mite' feeling , pitiful, to be particular.
The emotion is leotarded, typically femalish and full of annoyence. It's like kinetic art.
And then the people behave aobnoxious as if the were coming to some kiosk for beer. Then the absentia disscussions. Gooey shit !
I gingerly walk,fearing the breaking dawn; discover the beauty and laughter to only resolve for nothing-ness. I still fossick people, how cynical are they...in this god-forsaken world. Nothing but a foul dream, un-nurtured beauty and emacitated fuckers !
there's no elysian, get real ..will u ?
Attest this half hearted place, find a reason to breathe !

Quote that meets the Mind

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven..”
― John Milton, Paradise Lost

10 Random Expressions

1. *asks for call centre job* - WTF, are you really my lazy ass daughter, asking me to pay her own bills....are u ? *expressionless*
2. *asks about wearing 4 inchs extra* - baby, wont u fall over ur head? * bah! very funny didi*
3. *asks about going out for a typical marwari meal* - kid! u'll have 'ghee' ? Are u normal? * ugh..nope*
4. *crying over too much work and boredom* - hey try changing the subject, might just help baby...and u needn't cry . Here talk to Bhaiya...* no need! and thanks for a fantablous idea...i'd rather bang my head *
5. *alarm rings* - wake up , my head says.... * 3 hours later....fuck it's 9 am, bloody alarm clock *
6. Bakshi and Talwar wedding - * jeeeez, why is she caked up? when are we leaving? why are kids invited? shouldn't maroon 5 be playing here...rich wedding and all *
7. inflight * baby crying on the next seat and I am trying to snooze* - Dude shut up, will u ? please? ...people are sleeping....bloody monkey !
8. Black eyeliner goes missing - * hell  no , i am not going out ....without a liner...no way !!!!!!* - are u really that mad or just sometimes?
9. *bangs into a chair...says sorry * - oh god! a very blond moment !
10. Last day - * oh Sonia...we'll miss u so so much. Don't forget us ....la la la and crying * - I'm not gonna go off facebook babies...i'm alive....toodles! :P

• I normally cry when I'm  stressed, I just go numb
• I hate people who cry over goodbyes
• I get paranoid when I'm in the proximity of doctors or hospitals

And these are the most random expressions...

PS: I was bored!

Marriage - I Do ! Do I ?

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring barque,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”
― William Shakespeare, Great Sonnets

Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around.Most kids grow up to be just like other people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. Not to forget, the typical Hindi cinema drama, which drives in the most unexpected times!

The most successful one isn't being together in love and making it sweet enough to barf daily...The most sucessful one is where, there are two people who are the best of friends with - family, friends and each other
The two people, who have spaces in their togetherness, where the soul shall be the sould and sea shall be the moving emotion of time.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow .

In their words-

“When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth......

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself."

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully.”
― Khalil Gibran, Le Prophète

 

Really? Maybe ! (dual expression)

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
-Oscar Wilde