Here I sit, a night before my next regular board exam....with some sort of a happy feeling that I caught up my sleep before another slack paper.
Then I discover myself talking bullshit over chat. My mind starts ticking like a bomb clock about to expolde .
But later, I find myself in the same miserable state, where I decide not to write anymore. I've been successful so far on giving up upon coke, lays, movies, artificial jewellry and offcourse - Faking it. I did this for one person, for he said so ..maybe I'm not supposed to be so obidient but I suddenly became so.
Sometimes reality isn't all that beautiful. Here I sit, trying to prove my sanity, to come out of a shocked state of confusion , to listen to my heartache and probably trying to agree that it's what the truth was .
Beauty vanishes in a matter of seconds, promises break away in a matter of miliseconds so why do I sit to believe them to be true - after all I wasn't his first nor was I his last . He could change his mind, because I needed him and he didn't .
Everything had changed in a few hours, my only dream came to an end. Someone had rights to raise a question on my character. Some had the guts to say - what right do u have to be happy ?
And now I wonder , if I did deserve to be happy. If that person was right. Because, after all this while of extermist behaviour - anyone could term me insane. Then what crime did he do by saying so ?
Sometimes I thought everthing was changing for good and a while later I realize that I'm not god's chosen angel for miracles. I'm just some girl who thinks smart of herself but in reality she's just some girl.
Sometimes I try to hide my bruises, my changing self but somebody catches it and talks about it - It's crappy I tell u .
And after so much of thinking I cry for a while till my eyes burn . Sometimes I miss those days when mom and I were mother and daughter, when dad and I talked about NDTV Profit...when I planned my vacation with my sister. All that's faded away and I stand here alone, frightened to know what next did I have in store for me. After all , i can't get away from karma for ruining a " guy's" life .
Me ME Me...so much of 'ME'
I can't say I was tired ...and I wanted to leave. But, everything is changing too quick !!
Karma had bid for its power.
Then I discover myself talking bullshit over chat. My mind starts ticking like a bomb clock about to expolde .
But later, I find myself in the same miserable state, where I decide not to write anymore. I've been successful so far on giving up upon coke, lays, movies, artificial jewellry and offcourse - Faking it. I did this for one person, for he said so ..maybe I'm not supposed to be so obidient but I suddenly became so.
Sometimes reality isn't all that beautiful. Here I sit, trying to prove my sanity, to come out of a shocked state of confusion , to listen to my heartache and probably trying to agree that it's what the truth was .
Beauty vanishes in a matter of seconds, promises break away in a matter of miliseconds so why do I sit to believe them to be true - after all I wasn't his first nor was I his last . He could change his mind, because I needed him and he didn't .
Everything had changed in a few hours, my only dream came to an end. Someone had rights to raise a question on my character. Some had the guts to say - what right do u have to be happy ?
And now I wonder , if I did deserve to be happy. If that person was right. Because, after all this while of extermist behaviour - anyone could term me insane. Then what crime did he do by saying so ?
Sometimes I thought everthing was changing for good and a while later I realize that I'm not god's chosen angel for miracles. I'm just some girl who thinks smart of herself but in reality she's just some girl.
Sometimes I try to hide my bruises, my changing self but somebody catches it and talks about it - It's crappy I tell u .
And after so much of thinking I cry for a while till my eyes burn . Sometimes I miss those days when mom and I were mother and daughter, when dad and I talked about NDTV Profit...when I planned my vacation with my sister. All that's faded away and I stand here alone, frightened to know what next did I have in store for me. After all , i can't get away from karma for ruining a " guy's" life .
Me ME Me...so much of 'ME'
I can't say I was tired ...and I wanted to leave. But, everything is changing too quick !!
Karma had bid for its power.
“Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.”
― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
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