When I was growing up, I always was taught that parents , elders and family is the most beloved but now it all seems so vague . Not that my parents have loved me any less or i'm a typical teen who thinks her man is the only lover she got. I'm just in a lot of pain.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to describe happiness .
Sometimes people find different ways of expressing their sorrow because it's easy to be happy and jump around a few hills but it's hard to contain sorrow that pinches every tiny second u have lived ; like readers or writers - they read if they're sad so they can express their tears in the words of another person and writers scribble some notes which make no sense , to express that the spill has come to an edge where it won't stay. I could never write the perfect piece of page or make sense in one yet I could express one thing that I , can never love my self .
I being the a female born in a hindu family must accept that it was and will be about her people not her, the men not her , the smile of others not hers . I know , i'm sounding like a lay-off by not using any good vocab because I'm in a strange state this minute.
What has been my fault that I, was sentenced to this four walled jail where there's nothing - no hope , no color or air ?
I can never be the woman I wanted to be not because I lack confidence or any mindfulness but because I'm a failure , who failed at being a daughter , friend or anything else.
I could never tell my parents how much I wanted to excel or be their hallmark of pride but I was going crazy. And after struggling this war , I've just come down to saying - if one's not happy ; how would they make anyone else happy and you my girl were only here and shall be to witness failure , emptiness and nothingness . Now, I breathe not live .
Period .
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to describe happiness .
Sometimes people find different ways of expressing their sorrow because it's easy to be happy and jump around a few hills but it's hard to contain sorrow that pinches every tiny second u have lived ; like readers or writers - they read if they're sad so they can express their tears in the words of another person and writers scribble some notes which make no sense , to express that the spill has come to an edge where it won't stay. I could never write the perfect piece of page or make sense in one yet I could express one thing that I , can never love my self .
I being the a female born in a hindu family must accept that it was and will be about her people not her, the men not her , the smile of others not hers . I know , i'm sounding like a lay-off by not using any good vocab because I'm in a strange state this minute.
What has been my fault that I, was sentenced to this four walled jail where there's nothing - no hope , no color or air ?
I can never be the woman I wanted to be not because I lack confidence or any mindfulness but because I'm a failure , who failed at being a daughter , friend or anything else.
I could never tell my parents how much I wanted to excel or be their hallmark of pride but I was going crazy. And after struggling this war , I've just come down to saying - if one's not happy ; how would they make anyone else happy and you my girl were only here and shall be to witness failure , emptiness and nothingness . Now, I breathe not live .
Period .
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