Alpha Widow - 1

Does it break my heart? it does, every day and in more little pieces than you can count. They say there's a gift of tongues, I may posses that. I say something and it begins to happen. It terrifies me sometimes. You remember the last time I smelt your breathe? the last time I hugged you? the last time I could kiss your neck or dissolve into you?
I remember every bit of it. I remember your smell. I remember your touch and its softness. I crave your love and care. I crave your warmth. I wish I could bathe the Ganges and wash away my sins but love doesn't have the Ganges to wash away its awful past or bring back the happiness. If it does have anything then it has the path of 'prayishchit' that is repenting and fixing. But fixing something always leaves behind cracks. Cracks that always stay.
I repent everyday that I meet new people. I repent what I have lost and those I hurt. I know being an adult you must carry your scars in pride. But I am not made of iron.
I am not iron lady.
Come back baby, mama misses you.
Come back baby's dad, even though he's not with us but his mama missed you.
Come back dear lost family.
Maybe this is karma's way of telling me why I must repent !?

Mercy,
x