The devil you know

As I sit down, stare at the wall...it reminds me how he said it was his favorite thing to do. He was all around me , everywhere. Now, he's gone. I don't know what happened was right or wrong but it feels like a sorting numbness. A transition into a bad dream. How could a man who dearly loved you, promised to marry you would just break away from his relationship. Maybe blood ties stronger but had he never realized that she will die without him. Despite outnumbered trials, I'm alive. I have to be...Lord alone knows why.
Now his smell, his sayings, his messages, his love ...He itself scrapped every little bit of me. Who will believe what I say, why will I want to lose this person...why will anyone not love such a man.
In my absolute absence, I hope he's alive, he's breathing, he's eating...I hope everything is going to be okay.
Because I believe, what was - was beautiful and what will be - will be for it's best. I love him, it's true. I want him to be be happy , it's true. Destiny is our game, let it play.
Always remember, I was and shall always look around for you. I know, I'm innocent..because when you're good , goodness sounds you., good people do, good things do.
Dear god, I know you listen to me...this time I'm just praying for the other end of me.
** guess, I'm exhausted...**