Truth itself is such a relative term, I dont pretty much know how to comprehend it. It makes me sound like a petrified little baby panda seeking asylum from human cruelty . I suck at a vast number of things i.e. as little as making a cup of tea. Truth is like layers of transparencies lay recklessly upon each other, its consistency ...runs out by the hour. It's liquidity ...like liquid, like transparent water yet in so many layers....truth it is !
When someone close tells me of my own misery, I realize what kinda lie I virtually live in ... like the sick mediocre performance, my own misery. Some say I should stop punishing myself, Some say I should rather punish myself more and some just say- the truth, bare truth....that seeps down the flesh and muscle ; into the bone and past it; it dries up blood, replaces it with colorless & odorless liquid ; only to form a jelly like membrane which may, may not be preamble .
I dont know how to react any longer
I wish I knew...
I dont know how to live anylonger, apart from the fact that I'm running behind nothing but nothingness...more void...more darkness. A cold dark room full of nothingness.... 'his' nothingness.
How will I even live? it'll dissolve my whole purpose of living ...
Probably I'll punish myself till I can, probably I must isolate myself and start going insane. Probably I'll try to be alive...yet I'm unsure of my own existence, his existence...my own certainty and certainity itself !
After all, it was me !!!
When someone close tells me of my own misery, I realize what kinda lie I virtually live in ... like the sick mediocre performance, my own misery. Some say I should stop punishing myself, Some say I should rather punish myself more and some just say- the truth, bare truth....that seeps down the flesh and muscle ; into the bone and past it; it dries up blood, replaces it with colorless & odorless liquid ; only to form a jelly like membrane which may, may not be preamble .
I dont know how to react any longer
I wish I knew...
I dont know how to live anylonger, apart from the fact that I'm running behind nothing but nothingness...more void...more darkness. A cold dark room full of nothingness.... 'his' nothingness.
How will I even live? it'll dissolve my whole purpose of living ...
Probably I'll punish myself till I can, probably I must isolate myself and start going insane. Probably I'll try to be alive...yet I'm unsure of my own existence, his existence...my own certainty and certainity itself !
After all, it was me !!!
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